Eventually. In the US shipping time is 5-7 business days, outside of the US is 10-16 Business days. 

Once shipped, our system sends out an automated tracking number. Check your spam if you’re not sure if you’ve received it. 

Yes! Although we take no responsibility if your customers are offended. 

Please message us using our form with the quantities you’re interested in, and we’ll get back to you to discuss bulk pricing.

We will send you a link to download the digital book. You can print it at home, your mom’s house, or at the library. We promise, it’s not porn. Mostly.

Absolutely! We ship everywhere in the world for a flat rate of $11 (that’s the cost our fullfilment center gives us).

As of January 9th 2018, Amazon has pulled our original listing. They banned our original product for literally “offending children and caucasians”. 

In December 2018, Amazon pulled our Holiday edition because they claimed we were selling a “used product”. The reality was Amazon not only slapped an ugly barcode on the front (effectively destroying the product), but also would do shitty packaging and most people would end up getting damaged goods. Amazon has yet to rectify this situation. Assholes.

Honestly, we’re just trying to keep up with demand at this point, but we’re strongly considering it. Or, we’ll just come out with another satirical product that has no relation to the brand if we feel like it.


Our fulfillment warehouse where we ship out our crayons is completely different than where your shirt is being printed. 

5/26/2020 UPDATE: Any and all apparel and stuff is being delayed for 1-2 weeks. We promise we’re not taking your money and running. Due to COVID-19, all the printing facilities we’re using (and their backup sites) are using social distancing measures and working at a reduced capacity.

All of our shirts are made to order, meaning that if you fuck up on the sizing, then that’s on you. At this time we cannot provide exchanges or refunds for clothing (or really anything on our site). 

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